Missing in action!!

(for some reason blogger doesnt respect my parragraphs and it appears all like a huge chunk... sorry!) Wow, it's been so long since my last post and so many things have happened. Related to this blog I can say that I have gained back all the weight lost + a couple extra kilos. I am not going to try to make excuses although I do believe there is a logical explanation. Since the begining of this year I have been TTC (with no luck) and also have done 2 IVF cycles (again, with no luck) therefore the weight little by little went up and up and up. First I have to say that I am 38 years old, therefore I knew that my chances were not as good and at first I did not expect to get preagnant immediately, which was fine, and I continued with Dukan (jan, feb) to first of all lose what I had gained over christmas (2 kg) and to continue with my objective, thinking that if I did get pregnant whatever weight I lost before was a good margin for the extra weight I would gain with the pregnancy. I was not too sure that Dukan and TTC went too well along and therefore in march I decided to do Dukan but only the consolidation phase so I would get fruit and some carbs and my body would be better prepared. After another couple of months came the anxiety of not being able to conceive and I not only abandon the diet completely but ate far too much due to the anxiety. At the begining of summer after 6 unsuccessful months TTC I already reached my starting weight of 64.5 plus I started an IVF cycle. With the anxiety, the hormones and all that goes along with that, now the summer is over, 1st IVF did not work, I gained another couple of kilos and now I am at almost 66 kg and no baby. I did a second unsuccesful IVF cycle and have a couple of frozen embrios that I will go for in a couple of months as I need a rest from all the anxiety and maybe loose 3 kgs (I am trying to be realistic) in the meantime still trying the natural way just in case. Obviously - or maybe not so obviously for those who really believe in the healthyness of Dukan - I will not do Dukan. I really feel I do need to do what we call a "mediterranean" diet or a more balanced diet that includes a small amount of carbs in the morning, some fruit, many vegetables, protein, no sugar, no alcohol... I am not saying that Dukan is unhealthy and I have seen the amazing results of some fellow dukan bloggers, but I also think that there is a moment in life for everything and that if when TTC you need to be healthy 100% then I feel more confortable with the typical food piramid. So that's all folks!! This is why I have been away, this is the logical explanation (not an excuse but an explanation) of my weight gain. I am not confortable at all with this gain, actually until I reached the 64 kg that were my starting weight last August I was more or less ok with it. But after going over that mark I started feeling not so good. Anyway, although I have been absent I have kept up more or less regularly with your blogs so I did not abandon you I only became a silent blogger-colleage!! :o) Here are the statistics: Starting weight August 2011: 64.4 kg Lowest weight on Dukan: 59.6 kg (december 2011) Highest weight this summer: 66.7 kg Actual weight: 65.5 (this morning) cheers!! and happy Wednesday!

Back to attack - 4 days - damage control

So, yesterday, Sunday I did not weigh myself and I had a transition day. Had lunch at my parents with their friends. Not Dukan but i controled myself.

today's weight: 61,3kg
gain on holiday 1,4 kg
last weigh in: 59,9
lowest weight before holiday: 59,5
Target this week... LOOOOOOSE THAT 1,4!!
how?: 4 days of attack PP days all the way!

So, today, back to Dukan. Breakfast: 2 low fat cafe lattes. Lunch: two small thin viel steak and two boiled eggs. No snak. 2 diet cokes. Dinner: one small hamburger. 1,5 liters of water so far, will have another half before bed time. I didn't manage to have the oat bran today and I don't feel like it now, but i have already prepared a oat bran toast for tomorrow's breakfast. It was raining today so no walk... tomorrow's goal: add oat bran and walking!

So, there, all seems to be bak in order. I havent heard from B and he is away in the middle east... hope he calls tonigh!

I had a sort of fight with a friend today, via email, which is always aweful, but we were both at work so it was the only option. Im sure we'll sort it out, but I'm feeling a bit disapointed now. Oh well.

And that's all folks. Hope the scales reward me tomorrow for today's efforts and good intentions!!